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Wednesday, May 31, 2006
The Motivation
Isn't Tyra Banks supposed to be some sort of role model? Some sort of inspiration for young African American women? And isn't her talk show supposed to be some sort of positive influence on daytime television?
If so, then why did the following conversation just take place between Tyra and Venus Williams in the seconds after I deleted a TiVo'ed episode of Vegas?
Tyra: Now you and I have something in common, girl. See you've been all over the world, and back when I was modeling, I was everywhere. I lived in Paris, Milan, Germany, London, just everywhere...and I would have a problem as a black woman trying to get my weave fixed in Paris...I mean, for real, you see black women and they have weaves, but their weaves over there just aren't as fly as our weaves over here, you know? So you wear braids and stuff so how do you keep your hair touched up oversees?
Venus: Well, you have to have a plan.
It's a good thing that young African American women are watching, because these are hot button issues that need to be addressed. Thank you Tyra, for speaking to today's youth so eloquently.
5/31/2006 10:07:00 PM link
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Tuesday, May 30, 2006
The Summer
So many flip flops...
So many man-pris...
Can't...
Breathe...
Please...
Help...
Me...
(passes out)
5/30/2006 07:27:00 PM link
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Monday, May 15, 2006
The List
Things/People At Which I Am Currently Mad
The kids who make meth, making it impossible for me to run out and pick up some sudafed on a sunday evening.
The creators of Lost for killing off my favorite character.
The creators of Grey's Anatomy for making it impossible for me to not watch part one of the season finale tonight, even though I still have one paper to write and it is after 2:00 am.
Myself for still having one paper to write, even though it is after 2:00 am.
5/15/2006 02:16:00 AM link
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Saturday, May 13, 2006
The Test
I swear that I mentioned that I'm taking the comp exams instead of doing the thesis. But maybe I didn't, and I'm too tired to go back and look at the archives.
The point is that I hate studying. I've never been good at it. What I am good at is procrastinating. And although I've been doing some studying, I've been doing a lot more procrastinating.
Except now it's here. The test is on Monday (and Tuesday and Wednesday). Am I ready? No. Have I finished the three papers I'm supposed to have finished by Monday morning before the exam begins? No. Do I remember anything about stats?
Definitely no. Please don't ask me about anything to do with Bonferroni. Yes, I remember the word Bonferroni. But I do not remember what it is, or how to do one.
There are lots of other things that I don't remember. Like why I decided it would be a good idea to take the test a year after I finished all my classes. Yes, I know that my thesis wasn't going to get done without the help of my advisor. And yes, I know that getting help from him is pretty much impossible, as he passed away a few months ago. And yes, I know that this is really the only way to be done with it all.
But it's definitely not painless. This is the talk of a man who is in panic mode. The talk of a man who has less than 48 hours to re-learn everything there is to know about arts management, to write three papers about important arts management issues, and to complete a six page grant and a press release for an upcoming show. Yes, all of these things must be done. And they must be done well and without the aid of too much alcohol.
Time to stop stalling.
5/13/2006 06:02:00 PM link
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Monday, May 01, 2006
The Offer
Woman on Phone: Hi sir, I'm calling from [some company in Branson, MO]. We're offering vacation packages to spread the word about Branson. Have you ever had a chance to get down here?
Me: Well, I was born in Ava, so yeah, I've been there once or twice.
WOP: Oh! You were born in Ava! How cool!
Me: Yup.
WOP: Well do you get down here very often?
Me: Not really, but once in a while. (This is a lie.) I'm probably not looking at taking a vacation right now. (This is the truth.)
WOP: Well hear me out. At the very least, we'll part friends.
That's a bold choice of words, so, OK, I'll hear her out.
WOP: What we're offering is hotel accomodations with free breakfast, good breakfast, not stale donuts and coffee, and a coupon book offering 50-80% off pretty much anything you could do down here, even outlet malls.
Well, I like outlet malls.
WOP: The trip is for up to four adults or a family of five. When you travel, how many people do you usually travel with?
Me: Just me usually.
WOP: Oh. Are you married?
Me: Nope.
WOP: Oh. We're currently only offering trips for couples. In a few months we'll be having some offers for singles. Would you like me to keep you on our list?
Wow, a telemarketer from Branson just felt bad for me for being single. Harsh. I should have told her about my fall. That would have given me even more sympathy points.
Me: Sure, why not?
I mean, I do like outlet malls.
5/01/2006 04:09:00 PM link
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The Fall
I run into things or trip and fall on a fairly regular basis. It's probably because of all the tricks. I think it's likely that since I escaped falling on this ice all winter, the powers that be chose to remind me that I am clumsy by having me fall down some metal stairs in the rain.
That's something I'll have to add to my list of things that I don't like in the rain, which right now looks like this:
THINGS I DON'T LIKE IN THE RAIN
1. Cake
2. Stairs
You can see, it's a work in progress. But I digress.
It was only three steps that I slid down, and I even managed to keep the book I was holding in my hand (although I did drop my umbrella). And I also managed to avoid my tailbone, opting for the majority of the impact to hit my lower back, in the kidney area, and my elbow.
But still, I knew I was going to hurt today, and I was right. And that is why I do not feel guilty for not making an appointment with my trainer. And also why I am not going to feel guilty if I do decide to go to a movie instead.
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