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Monday, February 28, 2005
The Apathy
Could I care less about the Oscars? I don't think so. I only watched part of the broadcast because I knew Gwyneth was there. And Beyonce kept singing, and well, she's like a guilty pleasure for everyone. Who doesn't get all jiggy with "Crazy in Love"?
I apologize for my use of the word "jiggy". That was completely inappropriate. It won't happen again.
I only saw two movies nominated (Spider Man 2 and Harry Potter), so you can imagine my emotional connection to all of the other films.
I am so over Jamie Foxx. Seriously. Someone get that dude off the stage.
Hilary Swank looks like a man. That is why she is only awarded for films where she plays a masculine character. (Did you see Portrait of a Necklace, or Diary of an Affair or Affair to Remember? OK, she wasn't in any of those, and I'm fairly certain the first two aren't movies anyway, but Annette Bening should have won. Yes, that was all one cohesive thought.) I'm glad she thanked her husband though. That was friendly.
And could Sean Penn have less of a sense of humor? Man, he's lame.
That whole thing was lame. What a waste of a perfectly good Sunday night.
2/28/2005 12:42:00 AM link
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Friday, February 25, 2005
The Idolatry
You know what helps to get Fantasia out of your head?
Creed.
2/25/2005 11:38:00 AM link
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Thursday, February 24, 2005
The Idol
Damn you, Fantasia. I just had to listen to your stupid song "Baby Mama" (now that's trashy...) and it will not leave my head no matter what I do.
And not because it's such a good song.
2/24/2005 02:15:00 PM link
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Monday, February 21, 2005
The Weeks
Yes, sometimes I don't update.
Because sometimes I am boring.
There's only like five of you anyway, so ya'll come back soon now. You hear?
2/21/2005 12:21:00 PM link
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Friday, February 11, 2005
The Punch
My0001: joseph.
SuperGJoe: michael.
My0001: what's new?
SuperGJoe: not much is new, Micky. Just working for the man every night and day.
My0001: well, proud mary keep on burnin.
SuperGJoe: big wheels, keep on turnin.
My0001: rollin.
SuperGJoe: rollin.
SuperGJoe: that's not a sign that you're on ex, right?
My0001: hahahaha
My0001: nope
My0001: just pizza
SuperGJoe: oh, I hear that's totally more addicting. Most people that try pizza once end up eating it over and over for the rest of their lives. Wild stuff.
My0001: yeah
My0001: it's crazy.
My0001: but i can stop whenever i want
SuperGJoe: right. That's what I said about brushing my teeth with... toothpaste. But now I'm hooked. I'll never go back to Lava Soap with Pumace again.
My0001: it happens
SuperGJoe: yeah it does.
SuperGJoe: yeah it does.
My0001: do you think it's bad to take a nap before a party?
SuperGJoe: depends.
SuperGJoe: have you had a concussion?
My0001: no
SuperGJoe: good. If you did, you might miss the party.
My0001: true
SuperGJoe: Will this be a boy/girl party?
My0001: yes
SuperGJoe: then I totally say nap.
SuperGJoe: because it's my experience that boy/girl parties have... punch. And sometimes, punch acts like a depressant that puts people to sleep. So I've started sleeping before I drink punch. Sometimes I drink punch first thing in the morning, that way I'm totally rested for the rest of the day.
My0001: that's very wise.
My0001: i like punch.
SuperGJoe: I do too, Micky. Nectar of the dogs.
My0001: i've heard that sometimes people "spike" the punch.
SuperGJoe: NO WAY!
My0001: yeah
SuperGJoe: you lie.
My0001: no, i've seen movies.
SuperGJoe: woah.
SuperGJoe: spiked punch.
SuperGJoe: must be a Chicago thing.
My0001: maybe.
My0001: i'm nervous.
SuperGJoe: cops?
My0001: they always seem to show up in the movies when someone has spiked the punch.
SuperGJoe: yeah. Them and principals.
My0001: man, i do not have time for detention.
SuperGJoe: yeah. That's why I gave up on punch. Except in the mornings. Then it's toothpaste all night long.
SuperGJoe: no one gets detention for Crest.
My0001: just keep that brush clean.
SuperGJoe: so true. So true.
2/11/2005 07:58:00 PM link
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The Check
It's here! IT'S HERE!
2/11/2005 03:25:00 PM link
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Friday, February 04, 2005
The Firm
Had a dream last night (this morning? hard to say) about the Firm. I dreamed that I hadn't ordered lunch in two days and no one had noticed. And there was some sort of dance show in the basement (there's no basement) for which I had to set up drinks. Except I left it till the way last minute because I was helping them with their backdrops (yes.) and didn't have much time to make my way through the mall areas (why?) that were between me and my kitchen.
And as I was trying to do this, there was a sassy black lady who stopped me from running (running? I was hardly running. It was more like jogging through jello. I was not moving fast at all.) through the halls, but then decided that we were going to race. (She won. Jogging through jello is tough.)
The weirdest thing is that during the dream, I remember feeling so tired. So tired that I couldn't do anything or go anywhere. And the dancers never got their water. I woke up feeling more groggy and tired than I remember being in a long time.
And I didn't even watch The Grudge last night. Maybe I just miss having a steady schedule.
Or maybe my subconcious was reminding me how little sleep I got when I was working.
2/04/2005 11:50:00 AM link
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Thursday, February 03, 2005
The Grudge
Why would you let me watch that? At night? With all the lights off?
Well, all the lights are on now. And I will most likely be falling asleep on the couch, with all the lights on. Because there was a creepy bed scene. Where someone is in bed and they look at the foot of the bed and there's moving under the covers and then they lift the covers and there's the demon and then they die.
Just like the damn Tailypo. Yeah, I told you about that. The story from kindergarten that still gives me nightmares. And you know the foot of the bed is the scariest place in the world. Especially when there's a tailypo or a demon or something that is not cool.
God, if LIJ comes around my corner and tries to scare me, I swear I will throw this letter opener at his face. And I won't feel guilty at all.
UPDATE: Finally made it to sleep around 3:30 on the couch, with Home Improvement playing. Woke up again around 7:30, realizing that in a half-awake state, perhaps seeing the Canasian getting ready for work might not be the most productive way to sleep off the fright. So I made it to my bed, turned on all the lights (who am I kidding...they were already on...) checked the closet and under the bed for any Tailypos or small Asian children who can turn into cats and went to sleep. I won't lie and say it was a sleepless night. But it could have been worse.
2/03/2005 02:00:00 AM link
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Wednesday, February 02, 2005
The Reality Letdown
I know there are a lot of things I should be doing with my time off, but cleaning off the TiVo is also important. Especially with February's new episodes of everything coming up. You just can't keep things like Big Man On Campus there forever.
Seriously, why did I even bother? At first I taped it because I knew the girls would be predictably trashy and that always makes for good TV. But it was so bad that I didn't even watch most of it in fast forward mode. No big arguments, no screaming fights...and the one chick who got "stabbed" by another girl got four stitches and has a tiny PERMANENT SCAR on her upper arm!
Yeah, I have a permanent scar too. On my hand, from dancing with a DRUNK SORORITY GIRL at a college formal. Don't they all have a scar somewhere to remind them of their drunken exploits?
Oh, and I also have an emotional scar. The permanent memory of wasted time and TiVo space. If only I hadn't ever started. Luckily, two episodes were prematurely deleted, including the finale, when, in a remarkable twist, the BMOC chose 18-year old Michaela. Even though from day one, he complained about her age. (I don't know why, the dude was only 21.) Who could believe that he didn't choose surgically-enhanced Alex?
And who could believe the article I just read (God, I actually spent time doing an internet search and registering for some Florida paper's website, just to read this...) that said that no one really liked Matt (I don't know why -- he was as trashy as they were) and that most of the women wanted to parlay their experience into an acting career.
Gasp.
And within the same hour of reading this COMPLETELY SHOCKING news, I find out that Meredith and Ian (neither of whom did I enjoy) broke up. And that Fabrice isn't gay (at least not on the show), he just didn't want to marry Jen and left the show. So much for Bachelorette speculation. And to think I was actually disappointed that we couldn't TiVo it because of Vegas and 24.
Survivor is starting soon, so maybe my reality TV interest will be rekindled. If not...my TiVo is going to have a lot more room on it.
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