Friday, June 25, 2004

The Jam

As part of my neverending quest to better the world through snacks, I must impart to you, my people, a bit of wisdom about Fernando's Tequila Bar.

Oh people.

Never mind the food. Never mind the margaritas. I weep right now remembering the japapeno jam.

But how does such a seemingly innocuous spread garner such attention, you ask?

Jalapeno jam and I have a long history. It all began in college when I worked at Carlos O'Kellys. Not a great restaurant, or a great place to work. But it introduced me to the beauty of flautas with jalapeno jam. So good, I ordered it daily for lunch.

So good.

Sadly, I had to move on (well, not that sad, because who wants to spend their whole lives in Des Moines?) and was forced to leave behind the the jam.

While I was on tour, and during my subsequent months in KC, I discovered that Chevy's had a close approximation of the jam goodness. It was a little far away, but so worth it. My system had been shocked by not having it for months, so I welcomed the new jam.

But it was not meant to last. I moved to Chicago, land of no Chevy's, and even the prospect of some KC taste sensations was rendered impossible by the demise of the local franchise.

It seemed to be a world of no jalapeno jam.

But, my friends, I am here to tell you that is not so. The Jam is alive and well at Fernando's. I quickly ate the taquitos I had ordered and inquired about dessert. All they served was flan and fried ice cream (rolled in cornflakes...ew...). And then I said, "You know what I really want for dessert? Can I have a chicken taco, and a big bowl of jam?" The ex concurred, "Yes! More jam!" Even the waiter agreed, "It's so good, isn't it?"

And it is.

My children, I would not lead you astray. Jam is the bright spot in an otherwise dreary existence of no jam. In the completely made up words of Marie Antoinette, "Let them eat jam!"
6/25/2004 02:39:00 PM link | talk (4)

 Thursday, June 24, 2004
The Shirt

Usually I walk around the office and see my reflection in the glass walls and feel like a fat schlub. That's because whenever I turn sideways, my profile extends in directions that I don't particularly care to explore.

But today, for some reason, it's different. I'm blaming this yellow shirt. I've never worn it before...I think I might have stolen it from some costume shop somewhere along the way. And the only reason I picked it up today is because it was strangely wrinkle free hanging there in my closet, and (who am I kidding?) I didn't really want to iron. So I put it on, worked some sort of tucking magic so that my keycard is readily available, and jaunted to the train.

I even feel a little different. Taller, almost. If it didn't require daily ironing, and if I weren't convinced that it's going to get way too hot to wear a button down shirt, I'd go out and buy ten shirts just like this one and wear them every day.
6/24/2004 08:58:00 AM link | talk

Tuesday, June 22, 2004
The Caps

I must win. I don't really care what I'm winning, but I want to win. So much that the possibility of me going to the lunchroom and opening every single bottle of Snapple is very real.

Let me explain. Snapple is having a cap raffle, a "Snaffle" if you will. (Or you don't have to, because I didn't, but that's what they're calling it, so I don't have much choice.) Every cap has a certain number, and you're supposed to collect these numbers to win. There's a special game for drinkers of lemonade, like myself.

What they don't tell you is that this game is impossible. If I get one more 308 or 323 I will visibly cringe.

I have to admit that I just opened a Snapple, took a couple of sips and then threw the rest away, because the sight of that stupid number 308 made me lose my taste for Snapple.

Sigh. I'm thirsty.
6/22/2004 03:39:00 PM link | talk

Friday, June 18, 2004
The Winner

The only real accomplishment of the day was my solo completion of the Red Eye crossword puzzle, with no help from my regualr cheating website at all.

Although it wasn't that hard, today's puzzle featured words like:

pakistani (islamabad dweller)
edwardian (opulent british era)
decorum (propriety)
dromedary (camel)
essen (ruhr valley city)
otic (relating to the ear)
etna (peak in sicily)

Yeah, it was a pretty slow day.
6/18/2004 04:52:00 PM link | talk

Thursday, June 17, 2004
The Humidity

I'll just come right out and say it. My hair looked awesome yesterday.

I've had a tenuous hold on style for the past week, but yesterday the world saw a whole new level of the fantastickness that is my hair.

Those who have been involved in "the hair plan" (the long process of growing out from essentially a crew cut...), should be pleased to see these developments.

It was a good day. Each time I went to the bathroom (which was a lot, because, man, I drink a lot of water every day in an attempt to keep myself awake) I couldn't help but stare at the wonder in the mirror.

All of this was well and good until I went to the boat (oh, I went on a lake cruise last night...). And proceeded to sit on the top level of the boat for a number of hours.

When I went down to the first level to the bathroom, what I was greeted with could only be described as a disaster. What was once smooth was now wavy. What was once sleek was now frizzy. And what little organization remained could only loosely be termed "a part".

Luckily, my sunglasses were able to hold most of the madness down, but inevitably a few stray hairs would fly away making it look as if I lived high atop a mountain...with no gel.

Stupid weather. Just rain, already. This humidity is not cool.
6/17/2004 09:09:00 AM link | talk

Wednesday, June 16, 2004
The Remorse

The shoe angst continues. I tried wearing the red shoes last night, and I just couldn't decide what to do. I'm thinking about taking some time to go to the gigantic Sportmart downtown to see what they have for me.

I suppose I shouldn't complain. I have food and water and a new air conditioner. There are plenty of people without new shoes, red or otherwise.

But until I meet a man with no feet, I have no frame of reference for just how bad things can really be.
6/16/2004 10:46:00 AM link | talk (2)

 Tuesday, June 15, 2004
The Shoes

I'm not ashamed to admit that my shoes are falling apart. I blame this in part to the fact that I am no longer sitting around my apartment watching endless episodes of Friends, and actually spend time walking around for most of the day, in addition to walking to and from the train (half the time, apparently, in the rain...stupid weather...).

All of this has led me to believe that I need new shoes. Comfy ones. And maybe fast ones, in case I take up jogging (ha!), and because no one ever really gives up the idea that is instilled in us from the age of 3, that our shoes make us faster. At the very least, maybe it will make me more on time for work every day.

Oh right. I did have a point in mind.

So I've been on a shoe hunt for the past few days, meaning that I've gone to a total of two shoe stores in as many days. I have a vague idea in my head about what I want my shoes to look like.



At least I think that's what I want. But here's what I bought instead:



Hm.
6/15/2004 09:13:00 AM link | talk

Wednesday, June 09, 2004
The Heat

I know I shouldn't complain. I could live in far warmer, far more humid places. But at the moment, all I can see is the fact that humidty level is rising steadily, and even the threat of rain does not promise to cool things off.

I was holding off putting in the air conditioners, because a) they're heavy, b) they cost money to run and c) it's only june, so it's obviously going to chilly again sometime, right?

Now I don't care.

My nightly ritual for the last three days has been to take a freezing cold shower, and then proceed to lay on my bed, still wet, hoping that I will fall asleep before I dry. However, as the drying process only takes about three minutes, I end up laying on the bed, fans pointed at me from all directions. And it is in this position that I remain throughout the night, waiting for either the impending alarm clock buzzing, or the sweet release of death, whichever comes first.

Last night was so hot, I'm surprised death didn't show its face. Or maybe it did, and I was in some sort of purgatorial hell, just on the brink of fire and brimstone. I could, in fact, be dead right now, with the fan at my desk a cruel reminder of the pain that I will feel when I again walk under the sun at lunchtime.

Well, that's a little melodramatic.

But seriously. It's only June.
6/09/2004 09:12:00 AM link | talk (4)

 Tuesday, June 08, 2004
The Horror

To the dude that I keep seeing in Merchandise Mart:

Why you insist upon wearing those god-awful yellow strappy gardening clogs as regular daily footwear is beyond me. Are these things somehow perceived as trendy to you? Do you see any gardens?

The only thing growing around here is my level of disdain for the likes of you.
6/08/2004 08:44:00 AM link | talk

Monday, June 07, 2004
The Induction

Stupid Atkins. Why do you haunt me so?

So I'm back on it. You can blame all the scantily clad people at the park on Sunday. Walking around all half naked while I'm sweating it up playing softball.

That's enough inspiration to stop eating chips for dinner.

And today I read a Men's Fitness magazine. And I flipped the pages very hard, so I'd get a good workout in.

Sigh. It's going to be a long summer without carbs.
6/07/2004 11:24:00 PM link | talk

Sunday, June 06, 2004
The Game

I forgot to mention in the update that I'm on a softball team this summer. You may know that I'm not very good at sports. Or maybe you don't. Anyway, I'm not.

The team isn't very good either. We've lost our first three games, and although we're getting better, it just isn't enough. Today was tough, because we were up by a lot, but just got too hot and tired to sustain the pace. Some of us are way out of shape.

Now, respect to the team and all...but I'm not really in it to win. Joining the team was a way for me to have a little self-improvement. Get outside and be active for once. And since I'm not so great at the sports, I wanted something that would be really challenging and scary.

And it is.

The good thing is that I'm getting better each week. Since I play catcher, I've been able to really practice hitting and not worry about fielding. So the hitting isn't so bad now. I've even had a few RBI's. I'm not awesome by any stretch of the imagination, but I've been setting weekly goals for myself, and I've met every one..

I'm probably not going to be drafted to the National Softball League, and my team probably won't even make it to the playoffs. But I think I'm already feeling a little bit better about myself.
6/06/2004 09:41:00 PM link | talk

Wednesday, June 02, 2004
The Baggage

I have an airport complaint (no, not about being delayed twice in one weekend, although that's near the front of my hate parade...).

I know that checking your bags means that you have to wait for it at baggage claim. I know that it may be an extra 5-10 minutes that you could be meeting your ride, or walking to the el, or drinking at the chili's bar.

And there's nothing wrong with drinking at the chili's bar. I highly recommend it. But that's neither here nor there.

What annoys me more than anything are people who insist on packing as much crap as possible into their tiny little carry-on bag, who then proceed to stuff said bag into the overhead compartments. This causes a traffic jam going in and a traffic jam going out. You know what?

JUST CHECK YOUR FREAKIN' BAG!

I know that I have some friends who refuse to check their bags. And to them I say "phlbt".

Yeah. How's that feel?
6/02/2004 09:45:00 PM link | talk (1)

 Tuesday, June 01, 2004
The Return

I didn't realize that it had been so long until GJoe im-ed me and yelled at me for taking so long to come back. So to Joe and Chuck and anyone else who was sad, I owe you a cookie. Maybe two.

So here's an update, in the form of top ten list. and apparently i don't feel like using capital letters.:

1) school's out for the summer. insert appropriate 80's metal song here.

2) i have a new job. i'm the snackmaster at a law firm. yes. i get paid to take care of snacks. and i get lots of free food.

3) i have all but abandoned atkins because of the aformentioned free food. daddy has to eat.

4) LIJ and i continue to have roommate struggles. june is apparently a jinx-y month, because we have, yet again, been shafted. if you need a place to live, you just let me know.

5) unless you don't like parties. the next extravaganza will be a luau. which is fun to type.

6) i'm much less whiny now that i'm employed and now that i have an evening free here and there. you'd be amazed.

7) what's still amazing is that the royals continue to suck. man.

8) gotta say the cubs weren't all that great tonight either...

9) i now ride the train almost every day. and it's not too bad.

10) i purchased the new wilson phillips cd. that's right. new. and i'm proud of it.

and that's all you're getting today. but as others have attempted, i'm going to make sure i post at least every weekday. it may not be much, but i'll do my best.

so hey, to those of you that are still here...thanks for waiting.
6/01/2004 10:49:00 PM link | talk (1)