Tuesday, March 30, 2004

The Interview: Part II

I just finished my office assessment tests. I had to do tests for Word, Excel, Powerpoint and Access and a typing test about mortgage banking.

I have no idea how I did. I guess we'll see. Keep that mojo coming...
3/30/2004 03:17:00 PM link | talk

Monday, March 29, 2004
The Break

So in theory, I'm on Spring Break this week. But nothing really feels different. I have two midterms due next week, and still haven't found a job (I should hear back from the Friday interview in a couple of days...keep thinking good thoughts...).

Honestly, I just want one day where I do nothing but sit and watch Friends.

Nothing, I tell you.

UPDATE: Who am I kidding? I've watched no fewer than eight episodes of Friends today and took a nap in the sun.
3/29/2004 02:30:00 PM link | talk

Friday, March 26, 2004
The Interview

I'll be at the Wrigley Building in two hours. Don't forget to send the good vibes...
3/26/2004 12:54:00 PM link | talk

Wednesday, March 24, 2004
The Job

Did I ever mention that I'd quit my job? Well I did. And I've been looking for a new one for the last month and a half (which explains all the feng shui-ing going on here...).

Well, one day after I put a fancy piece of fabric in my wealth corner and set up the flowing fountain, I have an interview with a staffing agency.

Or it could be all the work that The Amy has put in on my ever so fancy resume.

Either way, good thoughts sent my way on Friday at 3pm would be much appreciated.
3/24/2004 03:29:00 PM link | talk (1)

 Tuesday, March 23, 2004
The Ham

Ok, I think it's been long enough that I'm able to look at things with a less teary eye.

Here's some backstory.

The Ex and I have a long history with Boston Market. All the cafeterias were closed on campus by Sunday at 4pm, so we had to seek sustinence elsewhere. We chose Boston Market in Clive. Every week we went and met crazy characters and had all kinds of wild adventures.

Like when Pat (the man/woman cashier...and that was actually the name that was on his/her nametag...) got very excited about my Snoopy checks. So excited that he cried out with glee.

Or the small Asian woman who kept trying to give the ex a bowl when she was really asking for a lid.

Good times.

But the good times ended when BM closed down to make room for a Krispy Kreme. We did not need donuts. We needed ham.

We briefly flirted with the Westport Bostom Market in KC, but it just wasn't the same. It wasn't convenient...and food was free at our parents' houses, so it didn't hold the same appeal.

And then we moved to Chicago. Two blocks from the only Boston Market on the north side. (Yes, there's one on Wells, but that's all downtown and stuff...) It seemed meant to be. We recommenced the beauty of Sunday night ham.

I must admit that we weren't able to keep the tradition completely alive. As time went by, we got busier (and more broke). And then the ex moved to a new house far away from the wonder. But even then, we managed to go at least once a month.

Wow, that's a lot of backstory.

The whole point of this post is that we went to Boston Market last weekend. I was all set for a ham carver (no cheese) and the ex had geared up for a Boston hearth ham meal (with mashed potatoes and corn). Imagine our consternation when they told us that they no longer serve ham.

What?

Oh, we still serve it as a dinner special once in a while. But you'd have to come back tomorrow and see if we have it.

What?

No ham? Where were we to go? What were we to do?! In complete shock, we ate our chicken. It all tasted like sand. Is there some sort of ham schedule they can give us?

No. We have to hope and pray that if we come in (at night...which rarely happens...) there will be ham.

And we can't take that risk. It was just too painful last time. Which is why Boston Market has ceased to exist for us.
3/23/2004 01:12:00 PM link | talk (4)

 Monday, March 15, 2004
The Risk

I have stared Death in the face. And I have won.

True, he got his laughs. He scoffed as I cowered near the precipice of the makeshift bridge. He chortled with glee as I inched my way farther and farther out over the canyon. And as the glass globe of wonder began to slip from my grasp, he was certain that I would be his.

Ah, but he was wrong. I rescued the globe and brought light back to the canyon.

And it was worth it. That light bulb in my stairwell has been dead for over a year. My chi just couldn't take it anymore.

Peruse, if you dare, the proof of this brave, and yes, stupid deed. Appendix Bear sits upon the very spot where I stood, tempting fate.





Now you can see all the dust and dirt that have been so sneakily lurking in my stairwell. And now I will clean them.

Take that death.
3/15/2004 02:55:00 PM link | talk (2)

 Saturday, March 13, 2004
The Convenience

I have a big problem with people celebrating St. Patrick's Day today. It's March 13. Come on people. That's barely even near the real St. Patrick's Day.

I know what you're thinking. "How can we celebrate on a Wednesday?"

Well what I say to you is, "You're stupid."

It's not a holiday today. You may think that it is, but you're wrong. It's just some strange excuse for you all to get dressed up in your tackiest green gear and get wasted in the middle of the day.

Hey, I don't have a problem with that. But St. Patrick's Day isn't until next week. And if you can't stay out late and go into work hungover on Thursday morning, then you're not really in the right mindset for Irish revelry, now are you?

St. Patrick's Day isn't a holiday of convenience. It's a holiday of tradition. It's a grand old tradition of getting drunk and making a fool of yourself. And you can bet that there's a huge faction of Irish people that are waiting for the real thing.

All you other people? Well, you're just regular old drunken fools.
3/13/2004 10:00:00 PM link | talk (2)
The Explanation

Yes. The new banner. You may ask, "Huh?"

But I can't talk about it. It's just too painful right now. All I can say at the moment is that if you're in the mood for a nice ham sandwich, don't go to Boston Market.

There now...I'm getting all weepy. See what you made me do?
3/13/2004 09:56:00 PM link | talk

Thursday, March 11, 2004
The Robbery

So I was breaking into someone's house last night, while they were sleeping. And when I'm working, I always like to listen to music. So I brought my Dave Matthews CD and put it in their CD player. (I had to take out their CD of Elmo's Sing Along Songs first, though...why are people so unaccomodating?)

Anyway, so I'm doing my business of stealing and whatnot, and I'm finished, so I pick up my things and go, locking the door behind me.

Stupid. I forgot my CD. So I pick the lock again and go to the CD player. I push stop. The CD does not stop playing. I push eject. The CD comes out, but it still plays. Maybe this is one of those fancy modern gadgets that memorizes the whole song before it starts to play, so it just has to finish up and then it will quit.

Then it starts the next song.

Maybe this is one of those fancy modern gadgets that memorizes the whole CD before it starts to play. I put Elmo back in and push play.

Yet Dave marches on. I'm very confused by this point, but I figure by the time the wake up, the CD will be finished and all will be quiet. I move to the door.

The multiple pickings of the lock have caused the pieces of the deadbolt to fall off the door. It could also be helped by the fact that all of the deadbolt appeared to be attached to the door with masking tape. I fixed the door as best I could and hightailed it out of there.

Shoot. Someone was waking up. Why do people have to get up so early? I grab one bag and run it to the side of the house. No one will look this close to the scene of the crime! It's brilliant! Then I run back to the front of the house to get the other bag. The dad is standing on the front porch, in the dark, talking to some other dude. He stands next to the bag. I go for it.

He reaches back to turn on a light.

"Shhh! Don't tell! I'm on that TV show!"

"Real World?"

"Yeah!"

"OK."

And he leaves the light off. I grab my bags and my Dave Matthews CD and sprint off into the night.

And then I wake up and realize that if I'm going to go to sleep with music playing, then I shouldn't be annoyed if I can't turn it off in my dreams.
3/11/2004 11:06:00 AM link | talk

Friday, March 05, 2004
The Advice

So I have an antivirus, and some spyware detectors, and a personal firewall...but still over 300 shifty items managed to sneak their way onto my computer. All this time, I've felt fairly well protected, but it turns out I was wrong. Now, chances are, a lot of this stuff appeared before I had downloaded said firewalls and other assorted programs. So here is my official list of freeware that you absolutely must have:

Spybot Search and Destroy
Ad-Aware 6.0 (I already had the 5.0 version which said everything was clean, but 6.0 found 205 more sketchy files...)
HijackThis
ZoneAlarm Personal Firewall

as well as a trial version of Norton Antivirus 2004

A few other helpful things: Computer Cops has a bunch of fancy scan things that you can do to detect trojans and whatnot. You can also download a special address card for outlook or outlook express that will tell you if you're sending out emails without knowing it. (I wish someone would tell the people at Northwestern to download it, because I swear I get five virused emails from them every day.)

Here's the cleanup downlow. Now keep in mind that I'm not a fancy computer guru. I'm just some random dude who had lots of crap on his harddrive. If you're not sure about something, don't delete it! Run the Norton, then run the AdAware, then run the Spybot. Lots of things will probably be detected and deleted.

Oh, and install the firewall.

Then run HijackThis. Don't delete anything! Just look at the things that the log says. If there's anything shifty (I found a couple of files called sexxxdirect.com and searchbarcash.com) then you might have a problem.

Look up shifty things on the internet, and if you have problems like that, then you should visit the fine folks at Computer Cops and post to the forums like I did. It may take a few days, but they'll make sure you're all cleaned up.

So I think everything is finally kosher here. After almost two weeks.

Yee.
3/05/2004 05:38:00 PM link | talk (2)

 Tuesday, March 02, 2004
The Book

This has to be the dumbest quiz I've ever taken:




You're Night!

by Elie Wiesel

You've had some truly horrific experiences, especially recently, and
you can barely stand to discuss them. While many people are afraid of getting close to
you because of this, it has also built a fascination and admiration of you that is hard
to rival. You know that things are about to get better soon, but that the trauma will be
impossible to forget. You are short, but powerful.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.



Do you see at the end how it says, "You are short..."?

Now that's just rude.
3/02/2004 12:21:00 AM link | talk (1)