Saturday, August 30, 2003

The Roommate

Have I ever christened the new roommate? Her name is Princess. She has many things to learn.

Like, don't be on the phone giggling like a madwoman at a volume of 2000 decibels (yes, hearing loss can occur at 85 dB or above, for those geeks who were in Science Olympiad...) at 8:30 on a Saturday morning when Micky is so tired from working in the cafeteria all week.

He will not be pleased.
8/30/2003 08:50:00 AM link | talk

Thursday, August 28, 2003
The Magazines

I don't know how I forgot to complain about this earlier. Sometimes I wish I had some sort of blog hookup to my brain, so when I'm standing at the counter making a sandwich and someone says somethign rude, I can just think it into my blog.

That'd be cool.

But I digress.

So I have to take my breaks with the two Mexicans that work with me in the cafeteria. I've never been much for breaks, since I don't smoke, so it's not really a social time for me. Especially if your break partners' command of the English language leaves something to be desired. The first day we all sat and looked out the window at the highway for 15 minutes.

Since then, I've wisened up. I bring magazines. But as I'm reading, Linda the cashier (who actually can speak English, but lapses into Spanglish once in a while, and thinks that she's the manager which makes her even more annoying...but I digress again...) rips the magazine from my hands and starts reading it herself.

So I stare out the window until she finishes. Because I'm too much of a wuss to say "Hey, give that back!"

Maybe not too much of a wuss...I don't just feel like making a big situation at a place that I already hate and will be leaving in just a few short hours. Or I'm just so tired. Magazines are important to me. I have hundreds. Sometimes I've had to beat people up because they steal my magazines.

So let that be a lesson to you: you'd better keep your mitts off my magazines. I won't be as nice if you take 'em.
8/28/2003 09:32:00 PM link | talk

The End

One more day of cafeteria "fun". Three days of house parties after that. Two work appointments the days after that.

And then maybe I can get some sleep.
8/28/2003 07:52:00 PM link | talk

Wednesday, August 27, 2003
The Annoyances

I would tell all sorts of funny stories about the cafeteria if other things didn't bug me so much. Like the flat tire I got yesterday. And the two hours I had to wait to get it fixed, because I'm not allowed to change Ford trucks tires, since there's a special key thing. Psh.

Or. The fact that I wake up at 4 am every morning.

Or. The fact that my back hurts so much that I had to go get an adjustment today. (Although that was nice. Love to the chiropractors!)

Or. The fact that cafeteria workers apparently don't deserve any sort of common courtesy. Like when I say, "Hi. How are you doing today?" and my bastard customers reply, "Tuna on wheat, no tomatoes."

So that's all I have to say today. My next day off is next Tuesday. Let's pray that I can make it.
8/27/2003 06:06:00 PM link | talk (1)

 Monday, August 25, 2003
The Warning

Today I learned about the most dangerous thing in the kitchen. Now, you may think that it's a big sharp knife, or the meat cutter, or the large ovens that get up to like a zillion degrees.

But no. The chef set me straight.

The most dangerous thing in the kitchen is...

the carrot.

I kid you not.
8/25/2003 04:38:00 PM link | talk (2)

 Friday, August 22, 2003
The Job

So yes. I'm a cafeteria worker. Not permanently, but all this week and next week. No, I don't wear a harinet. I wear a baseball cap.

I'm trying to be good natured about it, considering that it's going to double my paycheck for this month. But it's hard. I'm used to wearing a tuxedo and bartending at swanky parties and making tips. Not making sandwiches for angry people in the suburbs.

(OK, I tried to link back to a story from 2001, and the archives wouldn't go back that far. So if you feel the need to read about another swanky job I had, go back to December 2001 and scroll down to "The Question One Should Never Ask Micky". It's funny. And sad. But not as sad as cafeteria work.)

So enjoy the lunchlady up there for now. I'm sure I'll have interesting stories next week.
8/22/2003 04:08:00 PM link | talk (1)

 Thursday, August 21, 2003
The Itch

I got sunburnt at the beach. It wasn't nearly as bad as last summer's sunburn, so I've managed to put things in perspective and not let it bother me too much. It really hasn't hurt, and it's not peeling or anything, so I haven't paid a lot of attention to it.

So last night, since I was wiped out from all the serving madness, I went to bed at around 11pm. (Getting up early isn't healthy for me.)

I woke up at 2:30 in the morning with the sensation that my back was being chewed up by ten thousand mosquitos. Seriously, I've never had anything itch as much as my back did last night. It was so crazy it kind of made me nauseous. (How does one spell nauseous? Is that right?)

But because of the itching insanity I've discovered a way to apply aloe vera to one's back without any help from another person. Stretch out a piece of Saran Wrap and throw some lotion on it, then wipe it on your back like you're drying off with a towel.

Some of you may think that's dumb, but if I can help one poor sunburnt soul out there, then it will all have been worth it.

Well, maybe not.
8/21/2003 12:08:00 PM link | talk (1)

 Wednesday, August 20, 2003
The Esteem Killer

Want to feel really bad about yourself really quickly?

Become a cafeteria worker.
8/20/2003 10:37:00 PM link | talk (1)

 Tuesday, August 19, 2003
The Hour

I don't like people who are up this early...
8/19/2003 04:23:00 AM link | talk

Monday, August 18, 2003
The Intro

As if watching Richard Gere open some poor old woman's cervix is the way to get me to watch a movie...

(P.S. I only know what tool opens a cervix, because I just watched the second episode of Friends yesterday. It wasn't so creepy when Ross was making it quack like a duck...)
8/18/2003 07:05:00 PM link | talk

The Beach

I bet it makes you sad to realize that while you were sitting at your desk typing away on your 10-key, I was at the beach.

But before you get too jealous, just remember that you can afford to buy food.
8/18/2003 05:24:00 PM link | talk (1)
The Day Off

So the show closed yesterday (to a sold out house, thank you very much...) and I pretty much did nothing today. Which was nice. It's the first day I haven't done a single bit of Brown Couch work in an awfully long time.

But I deserve it, right?
8/18/2003 01:18:00 AM link | talk (1)

 Tuesday, August 12, 2003
The Remorse

As I was compiling my latest list of "Bills That Micky Cannot Afford To Pay", I realized how stupid it was to buy a DVD player. And 3 seasons of Friends. Because while I can justify how it definitely made me happy and seemed like a reward for some really hard work...what it really was was a dumb extravagance which is making me pay now.

I don't often get buyer's remorse. I really don't make stupid purchases. If I want something, I either get it, or I realize that I don't need it, or it's too expensive, and so I wait. But the only one DVD player in the house, which I couldn't understand how to work, and the lack of Friends available on video just fogged up my already smudgy rose-colored glasses.

It's not like it was a $300 machine. I got a really good price, and everything I bought was on sale. But when you're buying something at the end of July, you don't think about where you'll be at the end of August. And you don't remember bills that haven't come in yet. And you think that since you just deposited so much money, that there's plenty to have a little fun with.

Wow. I whine about money a lot. And my sometimes inappropriate spending habits. Maybe I should stop whining and just get a job that actually pays enough to live instead of praying that my student loan check will get here soon.
8/12/2003 01:29:00 PM link | talk (3)

 Saturday, August 09, 2003
The Opening

So I quit counting down when it became obvious that I would get no sleep at all until we opened. But now we have, and it's smooth sailing from here!

The house was great, and we had a good time at the party...five more chances to see the show!

For those of you not in the know, this in not only your first chance to see Micky sing in years, but you can also see Loser Iowa Joe and the angst-ident prone himself, Kris featured in not one, but two plays written by yours truly. (Forgive him for not posting for weeks...being in one of my shows takes a lot of time...)

For more info, call the box office at 312.409.2010 or visit browncouchtheatre.org.
8/09/2003 02:36:00 AM link | talk (1)

 Wednesday, August 06, 2003
The Countdown: Part II

2:46 am. Wow.

I haven't watched Friends in ages.

Two days left.
8/06/2003 02:46:00 AM link | talk (1)

 Tuesday, August 05, 2003
The Countdown

So much for a lesson learned...it's 1:48 am.

Three days left.
8/05/2003 01:53:00 AM link | talk (1)

 Monday, August 04, 2003
The Discovery

So it turns out that if you go to bed at 11pm, it is possible to wake up at 8am.

Who knew?

Four days and counting...if you're in the Chicago area, you have to come see the show, or I will be sad. brown couch theatre company. You don't want to see a grown man cry do you?
8/04/2003 12:11:00 PM link | talk