The Hospital

I'm a little sad. It was nice having someone wait on me all the time. And my roommate (17-year old Brian, with the collapsed lung) was really fun. We had a good time. And it's weird to be in one place for 24 hours a day for two days and then all of a sudden not be there at all.

But I learned a few things during this whole appendix extravaganza:

1) Ice chips rule. Seriously. I may go have some right now.

2) Clear foods do not rule. Although if you put some garlic seasoning in the broth, it's not so bad. And when you haven't eaten in three days, chicken broth, lemon jello and water are like a feast.

3) Having a tube in your mouth also does not rule. My throat hurts. Almost more than my stomach.

4.) You never realize how much you bend over in a given day until it hurts to do so. Same with laughing and coughing. Sweet lord, if I could just lay on the couch and not bend or laugh or cough and I could keep losing weight and my limbs would not go numb and atrophy I would. Well, maybe. It's hard to watch Friends and not laugh. And all I want to do is watch tapes of Friends.

5.) Clear foods are also cheap. If I always had a clear diet, I'd not only keep losing weight, but I'd have more money. It's an interesting thought.

6.) Hospitals are expensive. I haven't gotten the bill yet, but without insurance, we all know it's going to be sky high.

7.) When you're having things put into your stomach from the outside (no matter how voluntary) you don't really care about how your grad school interviewers asked about the three D's on your transcript or about why you waited until your last semester to take Economics. And as long as your stomach hurts, you still don't care.

8.) Barium doesn't have to taste bad. I had orange flavored. It was like a milkshake. All of a sudden I was back at Steak and Shake. Except wearing less clothing.

9.) Hospital gowns are not cool. Even when it hurts to wear underwear.

10.) There is very little that is more exciting than the first time you get up to go to the bathroom without having to use that little cup thing.

So although it wasn't really that complicated a procedure, and my life didn't exactly hang in the balance, I had a lot of time to think. And I came up with a few changes.

A.) Instead of just getting rid of my blog and quitting, we're going for a fancy new name, a redesign and a slightly new format. I haven't totally decided on the format stuff, but hopefully it'll make me care a bit more. You'll also notice all the red is gone. It reminded me of blood. And we don't need any more of that.

B.) I'm going to stop working all the time. It's not healthy. I eat out at least once a day. My only exercise is from lifting boxes and cleaning things. That's not cool. It's time to work smarter, and not harder.

C.) I'm not going to let people make me do things I don't really want to do. Like help them move. Luckily, I can't lift things for a while. But just because I have a truck does not mean that I want to help you load it all day. Borrow it if you want, but I'm going to sit at home and watch TLC.

D.) If I don't take care of myself now, I'm not going to be a happy camper in ten years. I have goals and things that won't be met if I'm fat and have high blood pressure and can't wear any clothes without an elastic waistband. So although I'm going to splurge a bit this week as I can start eating new foods again (hello, Outback...), I'm not going to gain back the eight pounds that I've lost on the clear food diet.

E.) It's time to put some more effort into my career. I don't want to be the guy who cleans and organizes things forever. I'm going to do a lot of work on this.

F.) A social life is not a bad thing. I can't remember the last time I went out and I didn't go back to work afterwards.

So there you go. The mashed potatoes I had for lunch made me particularly prolific today. Rock.

P.S. Thanks to the ex for filling in the masses while I was gone. And thanks to everyone who sent love and snacks. (I'm ok on the soup front, jill, but the sentiment is very much appreciated...) I'll be eating some pie (pumpkin, sans crust) and ice cream today. I'll think of all of you.