The Wallet

Last night, the ex and I had some chiropractor fun at the Drs. house. We played some board games, drank some schnapps, and pretty much just hung out without being in a smoky bar. (Very nice, I have to tell you...) Then Chris got the bright idea that we should play "Dracula", a game much like hide-and-seek, but you're supposed to play it in total darkness, and the pretense of vampires is supposed to make the game extra creepy.

Some backtracking...the chiropractors live on the second floor of a house much like mine. Except the have back stairs that go all the way up to the attic. They went up there when they moved in, and walked through this corridor (really scary in the dark...) and ofund this little room with a bed in it. There's also a rug, and a bedpan, and a bible and a stuffed animal on a small chair in the corner. Cute. Until you realize it's in the attic of their house. Where no one else is supposed to live. A few months later, they came up and there were two beds and two bibles. And there are also two big holes in the wall. You can't see where they go. My personal theory is that this room is used by hookers, and that the holes are a special hooker underground (except it's overground...weird...) railroad sort of thing. Hookers are crafty like that.

Anyway. We play. We use their floor, the attic, the basement (creepy in that typical basement, lots of weird things that you can't really see, sort of way) and the back yard. I am dressed fairly nicely (I did work that day, after all...) so I'm not too into the hiding amidst piles of dust and cobwebs. Ew. I went for the shower once, attempted to hide in someone's closet another (It didn't work, so I ended up just standing in front of the door, but because my clothes were dark, he looked right at me twice and didn't see me until he tried to open the door I was standing in front of, which scared the living daylights out of him. Fun.) And then it was my turn. So I had to look for everyone. I made the ex come with me (she was hiding behind the refrigerator...kind of...it was funny...) and we quickly became tired of the game. We played one more round where I hid behind some trashcans in the backyard. And then we went and sat in the attic telling gost stories for a while, while I stared at one of the holes in the wall, sure that I would see a face pop through of something. I recounted my tale of the reading of "Tailypo", the most frightening book one could ever possibly read to a kindergartener, that I still have nightmares about.

It was 3:30 am. We went home. As we walked out, I felt around in my pockets. Phone. Chapstick. Keys.

No Wallet.

I figured I'd left it on a table upstairs. I didn't have to work until 2 today. I'd just go get it before then.

I went at 11:00. Couldn't find it. Went and checked all the hiding places. (Attic was much less scary at night. I didn't go to the basement. I didn't hide there, and it's just too creepy.) Still couldn't find it. Chris asked things like "Was it in your back pocket?" To which I replied, "No...you guys yell at me if I put it there." (Throws off one's alignment or something. I got in trouble once before an adjustment.) Figured that I dropped it while leaving the liquor store.

It wasn't there either.

So now I was thinking, "How do I get a new picture ID so I can fly back to KC on Tuesday? I'm screwed." I was about to call my mom. I started cleaning my room (yeah!) to give myself some control in a world of chaos and missing wallets. I picked up my pants form the night before.

And found my wallet in the back pocket. Obviously I had the foresight to put it in my back pocket while attempting to crouch under someone's desk. Obviously I had not had the foresight to check my pants before I run around looking for my wallet that was in my room the whole time.

Obviously, I am stupid. But self-aware. And that's what counts.