Micky's New Crusade

I don't know who I can blame about this, but the new ugly shoe movement is entirely inappropriate.

You know what I'm talking about. Those things that look like old bowling shoes that were probably found in dumpsters behind the alleys by losers who don't realize that Seattle grunge went out about eight years ago. And that's being generous.

It makes me angry to see the Sketchers ads with Robert Downey Jr. wearing these ugly things. Young people are going to see RDJ and think, "He's cool...he wears ugly shoes...if I wear ugly shoes, I will also be cool." Never mind all the rehab. (Let me say that in general I like RDJ, but this new campaign is unforgivable.)

Look at this:



Would you consider that attractive footwear? I didn't think so. (And if you do, then keep your opinions to yourself, because I will not ever ever ever agree with you, and this is my site, so go make your own ugly shoe loving blog if you want a place to voice your ill-thought out views.) It's not just these, and these definitely aren't the worst offenders. It's like shoe makers say, "Let's go out and see what homeless people are wearing, steal their shoes, paint them neon green, and sell them to the mindless masses. Yeah!"

The "Yeah!" is very important, because it shows how excited they are to take advantage of the obviously tenuous hold on intelligence that much of my generation has exhibited in the past.

All this being said, I very much notice that I need a pair of black shoes. It seems that they're the new...well...black shoe. My brown shoes are oh so passe. Sad. Because I like my brown shoes and will continue to wear them. But I do see the importance of the basic black. They would go much better with the black pants I am currently wearing. I can't wear tennis shoes all the time, can I? The shoes I wear with my tux pants are A) not appropriate for anything other than working and B) hurt my feet. But I'm not going to buy nice shoes to spill beer on.

Allison and I visited the Happy Canadian Chiropractor today and got some free adjusting. Allison also complains of painful feet. Perhaps because she wears three inch heels every day. Perhaps not. I'll let you judge for yourself. The point is that she makes some very interesting sounds when the chiropractor touches her feet. I kind of needed a cigarette afterwards. And I don't smoke.

I have a personal problem with other people touching my feet, because I'm very ticklish there, but he managed to do some nice work on my back. We'll see if I'm able to go to sleep any faster tonight. He also did some very inappropriate things to my neck, and by inappropriate I mean that I've seen similar moves when Buffy is killing a demon. Necks are not supposed to sound like a firecracker going off. My interesting sounds tended towards the "oh oh oh my lo-or-or-ord." Not in a good way.

But it was free.

Which is more than those shoes are worth. (How's that for taking it full circle?)